Dog Hause
A Playground for Pets and Pet Lovers
Animal Quotes 6 of 12

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* "The man who has to muck out the monkeys is rarely if ever consulted when the architects roll up in their limousines to sketch out the new monkey-house."
-- David Taylor

"My dog ain't worth a plug nickle, but I wouldn't take a million dollars for him"
-- Heather Buchanan (on Casper)
Source: Dog Hause Visitor Bucksblossom

* "All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others."
-- Cynthia Heimel

* "Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish."
-- Ovid, (43BC - 17AD) Roman poet

* "We're born princes and the civilizing process turns us into frogs."
-- Eric Berne, US psychiatrist, writer

* "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent.
-- Dr. Seuss, (1904 - 1991) "Horton Hears a Who"

* "There is an Indian legend which says when a human dies there is a bridge they must cross to enter into heaven. At the head of that bridge waits every animal that human encountered during their lifetime. The animals, based upon what they know of this person, decide which humans may cross the bridge.... and which are turned away..."
-- Unknown

* "His mind is like a steel trap -- full of mice"
-- Foghorn Leghorn

* "When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten."
-- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"

* "May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts"
-- Unknown

* "Squirrels run when a Jeep arrives"

* "A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
-- Unknown

* "A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant."
-- Unknown

* "A Horse! A Horse! my kingdom for a horse!"
-- Shakespeare

* "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased."
-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

* "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
-- W. C. Fields

* "The trouble with a kitten is that When it grows up, it's always a cat"
-- Ogden Nash

* "With a rubber duck, one's never alone."
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

* "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
-- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio

* "The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey."
-- Andy Warhol

* "I'd love to go out with you, but it's my parakeet's bowling night."
-- Unknown

* "Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks."
-- Unknown

* "Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom."
-- Unknown

* "Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. "
-- Winston Churchill

* "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
-- John Peers

* "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."
-- Wendy Liebman

* "I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?"
-- Wendy Liebman

* "I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog, which growls every morning, a parrot, which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night."
-- Marie Corelli

* "Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

* "Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her? What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for."
-- Dave Barry

* "Authors are sometimes like tomcats: They distrust all the other toms but they are kind to kittens."
-- Malcolm Cowley

* "The user's going to pick dancing pigs over security every time."
-- Bruce Schneier

* "You will never know if you are quick, until you poke a mountain lion with a stick."
-- Red Green [Steve Smith]

* "Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat."
-- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London.

* "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

* "I'm really relieved about the armadillos ..."
-- Mike Jager, on learning that armadillos can be housebroken.

* "As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists"
-- Joan Gussow, Assistant Professor of Nutrition and Education, Teachers College, Columbia University

* "It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house"
-- Warren E Burger, Chief Justice, US Supreme Court

* "A fox is a wolf who sends flowers."
-- Ruth Weston

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Would you like to contribute quotes, proverbs, idioms, fun facts, rules of thumb, superstitions, humor, fonts, clip art, ASCII art, sounds, spay and neuter information, suggested books for sale or anything else? Send me an email.