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Animal Quotes 3 of 12
"Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it."
"You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle."
"LAWSUIT, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage." -- Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
"You can only milk a cow so long, and then you're left holding the pail."
"The cow knows not what her tail is worth till she has lost it."
"Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed."
"He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant
bought a cow to ride on."
"Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once."
"The bluebird carries the sky on his back."
"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."
"They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog -- keeps him from
bein' a dog, mebbe."
"If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember this whole thing was
started by a
"Anyone who has invented a better mousetrap, or the contemporary equivalent,
expect to be harassed by strangers demanding that you read their unpublished
manuscripts or undergo the humiliation of public speaking, usually on remote
"If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better
than his neighbour, though he build his house in the woods, the world will
beaten path to his door."
"If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; but an American cow."
"Don't, like the cat, try to get more out of an experience than there is in it. The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid."
"CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle."
"DOG, n. A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of
worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the
idle wag of
the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition."
"When a small child . . . I thought that success spelled happiness. I was
happiness is like a butterfly which appears and delights us for one brief
soon flits away."
"There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the
waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there.
"You learn in this business: It you want a friend, get a dog."
"We are closer to the ants than to butterflies. Very few people can endure
"A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion."
"Telling a teen-ager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath."
"In a way, I'd rather ride down the street on a camel than give what is sometimes called an in-depth interview. I'd rather ride down the street on a camel nude. In a snowstorm. Backwards."
"I have eyes like those of a dead pig."
"I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"
"I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet."
"I like dogs better [than people]. They give you unconditional love. They either lick your face or bite you, but you always know where they're coming from. With people, you never know which ones will bite. The difference between dogs and men is that you know where dogs sleep at night."
"If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."
"Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives."
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men."
"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around."
"If people were superior to animals, they'd take better care of the world."
"When the Man waked up he said,
"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected
with the concept of what I "should" be doing."
"The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost ever other animals...it's also the reason they hate birds."
"When you are looking a cat acts like a princess, but the minute they think you are not looking, a cat acts like a fool."
"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little
smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me
like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'"
"It's not easy being green."
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to
ask for what you want"
"If God created man in His own image, you've got to wonder: in
whose image did He create the nobler cat?"
"The dog barks backward without getting up
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."--
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater...suggest that he wear a tail."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"Which is more beautiful--feline movement or feline stillness?"
"You may own a cat, but cannot govern one."
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
"Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as much fun."
"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him."
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more
than she to me?"
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
"During the blizzard we had three feet of snow - and the pigs are only 18 inches tall. We had to dig tunnels so they could get out."
"Always behave like a duck -- keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck
"When old dogs bark, it's time to watch out."
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