Dog Hause
A Playground for Pets and Pet Lovers
 
Animal Quotes 10 of 12

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* "Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts law suits over their wills."
-- Voltaire (Francois Marie Arouet) (1694-1778) French writer

* "Never wound a snake, kill it."
-- Harriet Tubman, (c.1820 - 1913) US abolitionist, emancipator

* "A rattlesnake that doesn't bite teaches you nothing."
-- Jessamyn West

* "Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them."
-- Sir Compton MacKenzie

* "With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?"
-- Fernard Mery

* "Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace."
-- Dr. Albert Schweitzer

* "A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along."
-- E.B. White, The Care and Training of a Dog

* "Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on."
-- Colette

* "I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better."
-- George Bird Evans, "Troubles with Bird Dogs"

* "Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart."
-- Dorothy Hinshaw Patent, Dogs: The Wolf Within

* "It looks like a miniature hippopotamus with badly-fitting panty hose all over."
-- Roger Caras about the Chinese Shar-pei

* "It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature, well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a teddy bear -- which is perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted."
-- Joseph Lempa

* "If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
-- Andy Rooney

* "They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation."
-- Jerome K. Jerome

* "When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?"
-- Anonymous

* "Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland."
-- Josh Billings

* "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton

* "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck

* "What kind of life a dog . . . acquires. I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete; one sees little but legs."
-- E.V. Lucas

* "You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother."
-- Rick Horowitz, Chicago Tribune

* "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
-- Rita Rudner

* "The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat."
-- Albert Einstein

* "To err is human, to moo is bovine."
-- Unknown

* "Don't bite the hand that lays the golden egg."
-- Unknown

* "To err is human, to purr is feline."
-- Unknown

* "To err is human, to forgive, canine."
-- Unknown

* "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog."
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

* "If man evolved from the ape, how come there are still apes around? Some of them were given choices."
-- Johnny Hart's comic strip "B.C."

* "Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer."
-- Leo Rosten

*"Cats are animals [who] know what their rights are ."
-- Eli Khamorov

* "If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies. And then I'd put a bandage on its foot... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it."
-- Normal Rockwell

* "This is what you should do: love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men ... re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss what insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem."
-- Walt Whitman

* "When asked *why* he was dragging a lobster through the Bois de Boulogne on a length of pink ribbon, Nerval replied, 'It does not bark and it knows the secrets of the sea.' The same goes for a good cat except that, I fancy, it knows everything."
-- Jane Skinner

* "You can't catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try."
-- Kathy Seligman

* "Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up."
-- * DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

* "A leopard is a form of dotted lion."
-- Unknown

*"Let sleeping ducks lie."
-- Unknown

* "I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunning, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course."
-- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher

* "You can lead a horse to manure but you can't make him drink."
-- Unknown

* "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him backstroke."
-- Unknown

* "You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead."
-- Stan Laurel

* "One by-product of raising cattle is calves."
-- from Kids Say the Darnest Things

* "I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."
-- Steven Wright

* "Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs."
-- Martha Scott

* "Anteaters are generally found at picnics"
-- Unknown

* "The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's."
-- Mark Twain, Letter to W. D. Howells, 4/2/1899

* "Female moths are called myths."
-- Unknown

* "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
-- Henry Wheeler Shaw

* "Every dog must have his day."
-- Jonathan Swift

* "A horse divided against itself cannot stand."
-- from Student Bloopers

* "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
-- Mark Twain

* "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
-- Steven Wright

* "By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a "noble" animal? The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward- you will never get her full confidence again."
-- Mark Twain

* "Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched."
-- Cervantes

* "I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."
-- * DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

* "All cats are grey in the dark."
-- Thomas Lodge

* "Are cats lazy? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes, when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?"
-- Fernand Mery

* "Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use."
-- Mark Twain

* "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

* "I named my dog 'Stay'... so I can say 'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.'"
-- Steven Wright

* "People with insufficient personalities are fond of cats. These people adore being ignored."
-- Henry Morgan

* "An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards could produce something like Usenet."
-- Unknown

* "Tiger gotta hunt. Bird gotta fly.
Man gotta sit and wonder why, why, why.
Tiger gotta sleep. Bird gotta land.
Man gotta tell himself he understand."
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

* "They're not suicidal. They just think they can fly."
-- Donna Lypchuk, on Cats that jump off balconies

* "Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts."
-- Unknown

* "Writing a book is like washing an elephant: there's no good place to begin or end, and it's hard to keep track of what you've already covered."
-- Unknown

* "The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch."
-- Michael Friedman

* "The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat."
-- Ogden Nash

* "I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles."
-- Steven Wright

* "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry

* "The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

* "God creates a worm for every bird - but He does not throw it in the nest."
-- Unknown

* "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
-- George Orwell, Animal Farm

* "Recipe; a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat."
-- Unknown

* "'Can you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here,' asked Alice. 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the cat."
-- Lewis Carroll

* "Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat."
-- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London

* "You gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
-- Mr. Blonde "Reservoir Dogs"

* "There's more than one way to skin a cat. Way #15: Krazy Glue and a toothbrush."
-- Unknown

* "Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs."
-- Christopher Hampton

* "When a dog runs at you, whistle for him."
-- Henry David Thoreau

*"At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats."
-- The Washington Post Magazine, June 9, 1985

* "A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way." -- Unknown

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